Is this a blog or an episode of CSI?

Have you seen that horror movie where the killer stuffs his victims and positions them around his house like dolls? Well that person has a blog and HOLY SHIT it’s creepy. So maybe I’m exaggerating. These “creations” aren’t really dead victims, but sorry that I’m not sorry, because this person is a serial killer in training. I mean one day you’re like, “oh I have a good idea, I’m going stuff little fake people to put around my house so I’m not lonely.” Then before you know it you own a van with no windows, a shovel, enough duct tape to last a lifetime and you’ve got yourself a blog named Baggaraggs. And if stuffing little fake people around your house isn’t creepy enough, this dude writes stories about the little people for his blog. I mean, seriously, he’s one Rob Zombie movie away from turning someone into a fanny pack. Just saying.

Blog URL: http://baggaraggs.blogspot.com

Expert- “He drew his gaze to the garden gate of the home where Grace lived. As he watched he saw movement there and he fished in his pocket for his Monocular. He liked to think that this single lens spyglass was something left over from playing Pirates as a child, but it came in handy. He trained the glass upon the form of Grace Tenderstitch and adjusted the Focus, upon her face.”

Can you say, “It puts the lotions on it’s skin”?

Creepy serial killer, FUCK YOUR BLOG!

If I go missing, I think we all know who is responsible.

I get it

Isn’t that clever, your dog is shaped like a hot dog so you put it in a hot dog costume. Well guess what, your dog told me you’re shaped like an asshole…we’re working on your costume right now. Get excited.

Number One Reason You Should Never Smoke Meth Out Of A Lightblub

Look at the happy newlywed’s engagement photo. The day I get a Christmas card with a picture like this is the day I’ll believe Jesus is the son of God. I think they just put McGruff the crime dog out of a work. Seriously, all we need to do is go around to grade school assemblies and tell kids if they touch drugs they’ll end up looking like these sexy beasts. Take a bite out of that shit McGruff. To make things even more amazing, these hotties put down the pipe long enough to blog about their sexcapades. Yup, they’re into to some kinky shit and they own a computer. They’ve enlightened the whole world by detailing their classy, classy adventures in an amazing blog. Glad to see the video professor lessons have paid off.

I almost kind of love this blog. URL- people.tribe.net/masterm/blog

Excerpt- “Today kelly and I are celebrating our four-year fuckaversary! What an amazing ride it has been. From a chance response to a Yahoo personal ad to living together as a 24/7 Master/slave couple. We have been so blessed to have met so many wonderful people along the way and our life continues to open to new possibilities all the time. Thanks so much to our community for being there--being a resource, a reflection, and being so tolerant of people working to find their own path to happiness. Oh!--and being so darn much fun! Our lives are so much richer and more open for knowing all of you.”

Why are the ugliest people the only ones who blog about the kinky shit they do?

Crack head kinky people-FUCK YOUR BLOG…no, not literally .

a stupid blog and a stupid dog all in one

so first off, the name of your blog is Preppy Princess, so i immediately dislike you. but then you have to go make a dog a purse? really? i mean fine, you like pink, i can forgive you, but are your arms so fucking tired that you need to put a handle on your dog?

URL - http://thepreppyprincess.wordpress.com

In between what can only be described as her thoughts on Paris Hilton's favorite looks for fall and doggie S&M, she sprouts little gems of literary eloquence like this: "Hello-Hello, all. The Consort skipping merrily mikeside to entertain you while The Lovely and Talented Princess gives back to the community."

do everyone a favor and give your dog, and your blog, away.

Preppy Princess - FUCK YOUR BLOG

jesus wouldn't approve

Now i don't know jack about easter, but I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't die so your dog could look this fucking stupid.

???

Is this a dog or an uncircumcised penis? Seriously, I can’t tell.

What do Hitler and this dog have in common?

The day this dog looks acceptable is the day Hitler gets a national holiday that permits all Americans get off of school and work. I’m sure that will be any day now.

Like curling, this blog is slow and confusing.

If you can’t string a coherent thought together you probably shouldn’t have a blog. Of course the obvious never stops some people. Reading this latest blog was like watching a Felini movie. I had no clue what was going on.

Ironically this blog is named, “Man Who Couldn’t Blog”. While it’s obviously a true statement, it’s not real engaging. It’s kind of like going to see a movie titled “Man who really sucks at directing movies”. After reading a few sentences from this literary work of genius, it became apparent this man has no respect for the English language or the World Wide Web.

URL- http://themanwhocouldntblog.blogspot.com

Excerpt- “Have you worked hard all these years? Is there something in the way of the door? Will Pluto ever become a planet again? Does this mean we no longer understand understanding? Where are you standing? Is it in in? Is it in out? Freedom means many things to many people. Does it mean any of those things to you? Where do you stand? I mean, where do you really stand? Not where are you standing. Where do you stand?”

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I haven’t been this confused sicne Miss South Carolina last opened her mouth.

Senile Blogging Man-FUCK YOUR BLOG

Remember that?

Remember that time you thought dressing your little dog up as a pimp would make him look less stupid?
No? Well we do and it didn't work.

Some people’s lives are so amazing they create a second life…then blog about it!

This is legitimately creepy. I’m not being sarcastic, this is creepy.

Somewhere out there in the world is a morbidly obese 43-year-old woman (I'm making assumptions) sitting in her Grandmother’s basement working on her hot little avatar in “Second Life”.

As if it’s not disturbing enough that she has a “Second Life” avatar/home/life, she also has a…DRUM ROLL PLEASE…yup you got it, a blog devoted to her second life.

Complete with super creepy pictures and daily updates of what she’s done in her second life…this blog is incredibly worthy of Fuck Your Blog And Your Little Dog Too


URL- http://aliciachenaux.blogspot.com

Excerpt- (Keep in mind everything this person is blogging about IS NOT REAL, this is all in a fake fantasy life)

“This is Ford. Ford is the newest resident of Bluebonnet, and he came over earlier to pay rent. [I don't believe in rental boxes since I figure it just takes up a prim & there's not that many of us over here anyway.]

He's working on his new house, so he had to have the hat and tool belt on. It's how it is, yo. (Editor's note: I never knew they kept it so thug in Second Life)

Later, I was taking Nigel on a spin around the island and we traveled past Ford's new place. He, however, was sitting in the grass, the big Away sign glaring over his head. Well, you just never know when a storm or something will hit, so I pulled out my old AFK House and put him in it.”

WOW, you have a totally normal first social life don't you?

Creepy Second Life Chick- FUCK YOUR BLOG

Fuck your little dog too

There is not enough green beer to make me think this isn't stupid.

Sorry dog, life sucks for you.

Cat Poet

The only thing worse than owning a cat, is owning a cat and then blogging about it.

This is Fuck Your Blog and Your Little Dog too… it isn’t enough for the blogs we share to be just any kind of stupid, oh no. These blogs are the most absurd reflections of mankind. We share blogs so incredibly stupid they make God seriously contemplate wiping us all out, slowly and painfully.

Hence I give you Cat Poet URL-catpoet.blogspot.com- This little nugget of genius doesn’t just blog about his or her cat, they blog AS his or her cat…like in first person. At what point does life get that depressing? I mean Jesus, if you’re blogging in first person as a cat just pack it in. Game over.


Catpoet.blogspot.com Excerpt-

“Winter is not my favorite season, but there is one thing that is really good. The bird feeder. My female human has put a little house in the bushes and there are coming very many birds, even a family of about 50 sparrows! But there are some Arctic birds too which only come in winter time.
I love to sit by the window and watch those birds. Sometimes my humans put some extra food for the birds right in front of the terrace. That is best! Then I can watch the birds up close and personal.
Here you can see me watching a black bird. In the distancs (in the bushes) you perhaps can see the bird feeder. It's a small light wooden house. There are some sparrows right now!”



Come on, even the cat thinks this blog is fucking stupid.


Cat Poet- FUCK YOUR BLOG

Fuck Your Blog

Colleen and I are fucking tired of reading shitty blogs.

We're gonna find you the worst ones, and post them for your reading pleasure.

Oh also for added enjoyment, you get stupid dog pictures. just because.